Me...Myself...and I

It's been a while since I was real. I've been holding a lot of things in, keeping them  all  bottled up inside and i can't take this constant pressure building up inside of me anymore. It feels  as  if the walls our closing in on me, you know like those walls from Indian Jones? The ones with  the spikes? Lmao nah let's be serious here. I just want people to know the real me. I mean  it's  been just about 2 years since I been out of high school...am I right? Not many people keep in contact with me, and I be honest and say in the beginning I'll admit yeah it hurt like hell,  but  to be honest I don't really care anymore. I just wanna be real with those people that actually take time to read  this,  and if no one reads this then that's fine too. Point is I'm writing this for me and me alone, and I'm being nice enough to share it. Well to start things off yes I'll admit  in  the past I talked of  nothing but my boyfriend, he seemed like he was the only thing on my mind right? Yes I'm pretty sure I annoyed all of you with this non stop talk about him. I realize that now. And I'm sorry...I'll be honest back in that day i thought he was the only one that gave a fuck about me. And I guess losing mostly all my friends gave me a wake up call. Or maybe it had nothing to do with him...maybe I just pushed you all away because of my trust issues  I have with people and I'm sorry about that too. But anyway let me just tell everyone these few things about myself that seem to matter so much to people in this world. Okay here it goes....I'm 20 years old, I'm not loud and obnoxious, I'm shy and rather quiet until I'm comfy enough with my surroundings, I'm a very small risk taker (if the risk is too big i bitch out) but I'm working to fix that, I've never been to a club before, I don't like getting shit faced drunk (but I do like to drink ),I don't throw my goodies out to random guys I don't know, I'm 420 friendly, I'm sure that's one thing I have in common with many of you LMAO,  I don't  have a car or my license and I don't attend on getting it until I'M READY (and yes even if that means  I don't get it till I'm like 40, I don't give a rat's ass and I wish people would just stfu and leave me the hell alone about it), I don't have a job yet and never had one to begin with, my mom is still willing to do everything for me and I love her for that,I made a huge mistake in the trade school I went to and now I have to pay back $15,000, I live with my boyfriend and his family, I'm the nicest person you will ever meet to the point where it's just sad, I'm always there to listen to someone, I have one of the biggest sweetest genuine hearts that you can honestly find in a person today, I'm willing  to help anyone out if they have a problem even if I hate the person or I haven't talked to them  in  years, I'm a bitch when I have to be which is rarely never. But...there are many things that have changed about me, but no one wants to take the time to see that, but that's okay. I'm moving on in life, and tho I'm not taking the SAME path everyone else took I wish people would just accept that. I made my choices in life and tho someone them may not have been the best choice I'll admit but I'm very happy with them. And I see my life only getting better from here.  Someday all the people that walked away from me will need me and honestly I'll  most  likely  be  there with arms wide open when that happens, cause that's just the kind of person I' am. So until then....I'll see you when I see you.